Venn diagram

Lo llame a Lutz para hablar de la vida. Le conte que estoy r3leyendo Automatic City Zeitgeber Geist, partiendolo en imagenes, pinchandolas a la pared, resaltando en dónde entran personajes, marcando objetos que se repiten y abrumandome a diario por la cantidad de informacion decodificada acerca de mi propia vida que estoy metanoizando en forma de recursos de ciencia ficción en una historia que vaya a saber uno hacia dónde va. El avance es lento y la cantidad de horas que requiere va en contra de las expectativas productivas que me impone la renovación fe mi permiso de residencia en el año 2025. Preocupación y ansiedad son los nombres de mis plantitas en la ventana, las riego y no se mueren en verano.

Lutz tuvo la intención de proponerme un “elije tu propia aventura”, o un “que todo sea mentira”, y ante ambos solo sentí aburrimiento y relleno de aire con ruido. Más interesante me pareció el primer error en el que mencionó Venn diagram. Luego se disculpó… pero yo creo en la vida.

¿A ver qué es esto?

 

Josie to Jo

Josie to Jo

Josie – I don’t have enough ego to move on.
Jo – To believe.
Josie – Whatsoever I believed… it was wrong.
Jo – How can you do yourself wrong? It’s a retorical… Darling.
Josie – I get it. By making myself believe I was not you, I was not us, I was not me.
Jo- How to believe in the right place and time when the main character will never make it (on time and place) even when they are physically there?
Josie – But they are still not there! I feel I have come this far, to another continent, even three, so to see that the world is … sorry to proclaim, wrong.
Jo – Hope never dies.
Josie – But I am suffocating it within myself!
Jo – Yes, I need to finish you off.
Josie- I am willing to let you get off the responsability.
Jo – But that would not even be self-sustainable, when I do believe in love…
Josie – How can you still believe…
Jo – in you?
Josie – Yes, in me…
Jo – I don’t.
Josie – Then why do you forgive me?
Jo – Because you where using parts of me, in a fragmented way, to create an existance that sooner or later would have collapsed. I am the patient kind, the one that watches until you get tired.
Josie – Of being too much of myself?
Jo – Yes, until your worship of the ego faces inevitable death.
Josie – I thought I had faced it several times already, but…
Jo – Not yet the real you.
Josie – Are you heading to Beuterzits?
Jo – (Stares at their watch) I think its time.
Josie – I think I have no option.
Jos – That has been allways your way of making decisions, not mine. I think time has been allways on my side.
Josie – I have allways been scared to death to this moment…
Jo – Unfortunately, I feel what you make me feel. A social construction of desperation, an unwillingness to live, believe and give.
Josie – Why didn’t we finish off this earlier?
Jo – Life takes its own time-space.
Josie – It would have been easier to just let it go, to quit, so you would have had your free life. I am only chains and laws, miseries and misstrust.
Jo – You where not only that, you where trust and faith, love and will, you took them from me in order to feel what you just described. And upon having them you built that reality of yours, a crazy one.
Josie – Is that why desperation is so clear now?
Jo – Yes, because it took time for all seeds of unfairiness to proove their own grief, and so understand their own nature by themselves.
Josie – I am willing to die.
jo – First, I must take from you what it is mine.
Josie – Would something remain?
Jo – It’s a risk I have to take.
Josie – I am scared.
Jo – Because you are still willing to love.

Título: “Josie to Jo” o “La muerte del Ego”

error: This content is protected - Protección de datos